MISSING: Gelatinous Cube. Answers to Puddin’.

 Posted upon the Atelier noticeboard with a dry pin. The previous pin remains unaccounted for.

I regret to announce that Puddin’, my newly acquired gelatinous cube, is missing.

If you have walked through something unexpectedly moist today, report to me immediately. Please remain outside until I have established whether you are merely a witness or providing transportation.

DESCRIPTION OF THE MISSING PARTY

Puddin’ is approximately cube-shaped, largely transparent, and possessed of a gentle wobble which several visitors have mistaken for a welcoming gesture. I advise against answering it with an embrace.

Distinguishing features include:

• Six faces. No useful facial expression.
• A faint greenish shimmer under lamplight.
• A tendency to occupy a corridor so thoroughly that the corridor ceases to be available.
• One suspended teaspoon, a brass button, and possibly the corner of my best waistcoat. I would appreciate confirmation before ordering a replacement.

This sentient gelatin mass answers to “Puddin’.” By “answers,” I mean a slight tremor followed by movement in your general direction. I concede this may also be the response to footsteps, dropped cookies, or the existence of a floor.

LAST KNOWN WHEREABOUTS

I last observed Puddin’ near the back passage connecting to Athenmoors transit system. 

SIGNS OF A POSSIBLE SIGHTING

Please notify me if you encounter an unusually clean strip of floor, a damp rectangular impression, or a teaspoon travelling at knee height without an obvious bearer.

If a chair appears to be slowly ascending inside a patch of empty air, I am particularly interested. That is either Puddin’ or an unrelated matter which I had hoped was resolved.

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO APPREHEND

I cannot emphasize this sufficiently: report the cube. Do not collect the cube.

• Do not poke it with a walking stick. Our regular Bartholemew is already short one walking stick.
• Do not offer it a cookie. I have yet to establish where affection ends and feeding begins.
• Do not attempt to divide it among several buckets. I require one missing notice, not a regional recovery campaign.
• Do not label it “artisanal jelly.” I refuse to conduct that conversation with another customer.
• If you are already partly inside Puddin’, please state this at the beginning of your report. It materially affects my choice of equipment.

REWARD

For information leading to Puddin’s safe return, I offer complimentary tea and my eternal gratitude.

The tea will be served in a clean cup. My gratitude will be sincere. Neither entitles the successful informant to bring Puddin’ into the seating area.

I remain fond of the creature. I would simply prefer to know which room it is being fond of me from.

Yours in mounting concern and inexplicably spotless corridors,

Professor Eldrin Nightshade
Alchemist of the Seventh Atelier
Temporarily Outmaneuvered by a Right Angle

P.S. Ragnar has been observed washing his paws beside an apparently empty doorway. I cannot yet determine whether this constitutes evidence, opportunism, or a profoundly unwise new arrangement.