⏰ CHRONO BUSTER CHAMOMILE
Tea Type: Sleep Potion / Temporal Grenade | Rarity: ★★ Uncommon | Element: Time | MP Cost: 0 (Caffeine-Free)
"Ah, an adventurer! Excellent timing. You look terrible, by the way — have you slept? No, don't answer that, I can tell from the eye situation.
What you need is the Chrono Buster. Yes, that one. The bottle with the grenade charm. Go ahead, pick it up — it won't go off. Probably.
It's a time grenade. Or rather, it was a time grenade — a concentrated temporal disruption device designed to detonate a burst of slowed time across a wide radius, causing anyone caught in the blast to experience the subjective sensation of an extremely long, extremely peaceful Tuesday afternoon whether they wanted to or not. The Professor filed the patent. The patent was rejected on the grounds that 'weaponized chamomile' was not a recognized munitions category.
He pivoted to beverages. The grenade charm stayed. Seemed right.
Same effect, honestly. Pull the pin (the cork) — steep the contents, and lob it directly at your evening. Blast radius: one mug. Effective range: one very comfortable armchair. The clock on the wall will slow. The anxieties will scatter. And you will experience eight hours of deep, restorative, time-bending rest that the licensing board cannot touch.
Explosions not included. Mug not included. Sleep? Absolutely included."
◄ Tea Stats ►
- Sleep Induction: +85
- Anxiety Reduction: +80
- Temporal Deceleration: +90 (Internal Only)
- Caffeine Content: 0 (Absolutely None. The Professor checked twice.)
- Removes ‘Restless Mind’ debuff
- Removes ‘Clock Tyranny’ status effect
- Removes ‘Compressed Evening’ ailment
- Grants ‘Deep Temporal Rest’ buff (6-8 hours)
- Side Effect: Peaceful spring in your step tomorrow, suspicious fondness for bedtime
◄ Alchemical Components (Ingredients) ►
The Temporal Anchor (Egyptian Chamomile): The heart of the device. Egyptian Chamomile establishes a powerful mental stillness, rooting you firmly in the present moment and ensuring your anxieties cease their chaotic temporal shifts. The Professor considers it the most reliable ingredient in the Atelier's entire collection. Mortimer agrees, which is the higher endorsement.
The Stabilizing Field (South African Rooibos): The deep, earthy, comforting base. Zero caffeine — this is not a coincidence, it is a design feature. Rooibos ensures your body remains perfectly still and serene while the rest of the world rushes by outside your peaceful bubble. The Professor describes it as "the alchemical equivalent of a weighted blanket."
The Transition Marker (Fresh Peppermint Leaves): The final, elegant component. A faint, pleasantly crisp note that provides a clean, measured sensation — the subtle tick that marks your gentle transition into the slow-time zone. Do not underestimate it. Mortimer has filed extensive documentation on its importance.
This tea contains no caffeine | Steep at 212°F for 5-10 minutes
Ingredients: Chamomile flowers, rooibos tea, peppermint leaves & natural vanilla flavor
◄ Detonation Instructions ►
Standard Deployment: Combine 1 heaping teaspoon with 8 oz of boiling water (212°F). Steep for 5-10 minutes whilst the clock on the wall begins to feel less like a threat and more like a suggestion. Inhale the steam. Feel the temporal pressure ease. Do not throw the mug.
Emergency Sleep Protocol: When afflicted with the ‘Restless Mind’ or ‘Compressed Evening’ status effects, deploy immediately. Drink slowly. Do not look at your phone. The Professor cannot stress this last point enough and has written it on a separate piece of paper which he keeps above his own desk.
Pro Tip: Add a touch of honey for the Chrono Buster Deluxe experience. Add milk for the Chrono Buster Ultra. Fall asleep before finishing the cup and you've unlocked the Chrono Buster Omega. The Professor is still working on the Mk. II.
◄ Adventurer Testimonials ►
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "I haven't slept this well since before the Goblin Wars. The chamomile hits immediately. The rooibos keeps it going. I woke up feeling like I'd actually been somewhere restful." — Insomniac Ranger, Level 74
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "I used to lie awake cataloguing my regrets. Now I lie awake for approximately four minutes and then it's morning. I don't know what the Professor put in this but I support it entirely." — Overthinking Mage (Reformed)
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "As a lombax who has personally dismantled seventeen doomsday devices, survived four galaxy-ending threats, and once fought a megalomaniacal chairman in a giant robot suit, I know a thing or two about needing rest. The Chrono Buster is the first thing I've encountered that actually slows things down without requiring a wrench. My robot companion calculated a 94.7% improvement in my sleep cycle. He then spent forty minutes explaining what that statistic means. I was asleep before he finished." — R.C., Intergalactic Hero (Retired-ish)
⚡ ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: "Temporal Surrender" — Pull the pin. Steep the Chrono Buster. Put down your phone and actually go to sleep at a reasonable hour. The clock will still be there tomorrow. It always is. That's rather the problem, and also rather the point.
Disclaimer: Professor Eldrin Nightshade and the lore of The Seventh Atelier are fictional. All products are teas and coffees intended for consumption and do not possess actual magical properties. The Chrono Buster Chamomile is not a functional time grenade and should not be deployed as one. The grenade charm is decorative. The Professor's patent application was rejected and he has made his peace with this. Mostly. For entertainment purposes only.
