WANTED: Bravest (and Possibly Most Expendable) Volunteer

Dragon Bait Wanted Ad

The Seventh Atelier seeks a courageous (or perhaps incredibly naive) individual to assist in a highly perilous, yet potentially rewarding, expedition.

Objective: To acquire a rare mineral, "Dragon's Tear," from within the lair of Ignis, a dragon of… discerning taste.

Role: Dragon Bait.

Responsibilities:

  • Serve as a distraction for Ignis, capturing its attention (and hopefully not its appetite) while Professor Nightshade retrieves the Dragon's Tear.

  • Engage in witty banter with said dragon (a flair for the dramatic is a plus).

  • Maintain a calm demeanor in the face of fiery breath and large, sharp teeth.

  • Optional: Perform a captivating dance or song to further entertain the beast.

Qualifications:

  • A high tolerance for heat (both literal and metaphorical).

  • Ability to run surprisingly fast.

  • Experience with dragons preferred, but a healthy respect for them is mandatory.

  • Must be willing to sign a waiver releasing the Seventh Atelier from any liability for… unforeseen circumstances.

  • A sense of humor in the face of extreme danger is essential.

Benefits:

  • A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see a dragon up close (possibly very close).

  • The chance to be part of an important scientific endeavor.

  • Bragging rights for surviving an encounter with a dragon (assuming you survive).

  • All the tea you can drink (before, during, or after the mission).

  • Vague promises of future rewards, potential riches, and/or immortality (results may vary).

To Apply:

Please submit a resume, a brief essay on your favorite dragon, and a self-portrait showcasing your most courageous (or terrified) expression. Bonus points for any references from previous employers who can attest to your bravery (or expendability).

Note: The Seventh Atelier is not responsible for any singed eyebrows, lost limbs, or existential crises that may result from this undertaking.

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