Eldrin Nightshade's Guide to Dragon... Discouragement

Greetings, my dear alchemical apprentices and aspiring draconologists! Eldrin Nightshade here, from the (currently slightly charred) Seventh Atelier cafe. Today, I bring you wisdom gleaned from a rather... heated negotiation with a newly hatched Seraph and a rather ambitious plan involving a tiny top hat.

Let's just say, my friends, that "training" a dragon isn't quite like teaching a teacup to levitate. Here are a few things I've learned NOT to do:

• DON'T assume a tiny dragon's "fierce roar" is just a request for more cuddles. 

I made this mistake. My hair is still slightly frizzled. It turns out, it often means, "I would like to set fire to that particularly delightful gnome statue you cherish."

• DON'T try to teach them "fetch" ANYTHING

Especially not your favorite book. Or your neighbor's prize-winning petunias. The cleanup is simply dreadful.

• DON'T attempt to dress them in tiny outfits.

While the idea of a dragon in a monocle seemed utterly charming, the reality involved a surprisingly agile scaly creature, several ripped velvet scraps, and a rather indignant growl that rattled the very foundations of the atelier.

• DON'T use treats that explode.

 Even if they're delightful little "Phoenix Firecrackers." The concept seemed sound in theory; in practice, it resulted in a very confused, slightly sooty dragon and a rather singed ceiling.

• DON'T try to "reason" with them about the importance of not napping on your enchanted loom.

They simply don't care for fine craftsmanship when a good snooze is at stake.

In conclusion, perhaps "coexistence" is a more appropriate term than "training." And always, ALWAYS, keep a fire extinguisher handy. Or at least a very large bucket of sand.

What whimsical creature have you tried (and perhaps comically failed) to "train," my friends? Share your tales of triumph and tribulation below!