How to get hired for quests for newbies

Dear, aspiring purveyors of the peculiar and those yearning to venture beyond the mundane!

Professor Eldrin Nightshade here, having just navigated the labyrinthine bureaucracy of the local 'Guild of Arcane Acquisition.' One might think securing a position to procure elusive ingredients is a matter of skill and experience. Ha! While those are technically helpful, I've found a few… alternative strategies that tend to leave a lasting impression.

For those of you seeking to join the ranks of the intrepid, here are

Professor Nightshade's  Tips for Getting Hired by Your Local Guild:

1. Bring a 'Reference' (Optional, but Memorable):

Consider bringing a small, non-threatening (mostly) magical creature to your interview. A glow-worm that hums your praises, a particularly well-behaved miniature dragon, or even a self-stirring teacup that offers the interviewer a perfectly brewed cuppa. It shows initiative! (Just ensure it doesn't spontaneously transmute the interviewer's desk.)

1. Dress for the Job You Want (Slightly Singed Edition):

Your attire should reflect your dedication. Armor with a few strategically placed scorch marks, boots that look like they've traversed a few dimensions, and hair that suggests you've just narrowly avoided a temporal vortex. It says, 'I'm serious about adventure, but I also look fabulous doing it.'

1. Master the Art of the 'Vague Promise':

When asked about your long-term goals, speak in grand, sweeping statements. 'To chart the unchartable!' 'To discover the undiscoverable!' 'To ensure the world always has enough… sparkle!' Specifics are for accountants; you're an alchemist extraordinaire now!

And Now, A Word on Guild Jobs to Avoid (Unless You Enjoy Existential Dread):

• Dragon Lullaby Specialist: Trust me, their taste in music is terrible, and the risk of being mistaken for a midnight snack is alarmingly high.

• Slime Mold Groomer: It's exactly what it sounds like. And it never, ever washes out.

• Temporal Courier: The paperwork alone will give you a headache across three different centuries. And don't even get me started on the paradoxes.

• Goblin Bookkeeper: Unless you enjoy being paid exclusively in shiny pebbles and the occasional stolen sock, steer clear. Their ledgers are written in a language only they understand, and they're notoriously bad at balancing books.

Remember, the world needs brave souls to find its hidden wonders. Just make sure you're the right kind of brave. And always have a good escape plan!

Yours in the pursuit of glorious employment (and avoiding slime),

Professor Eldrin Nightshade

#AlchemistJobs #GuildLife #IngredientAcquisition #ProfessorNightshade #SeventhAtelier #WhimsicalCareerAdvice #JobHuntingHumor #FantasyJobs #AvoidAtAllCosts"